When you buy a luxury car, you put the highest quality gasoline in the tank, because high-end car engines are only as good as the fuel they burn. Burning 87 octane in a supercar you just paid dearly for is a colossal waste of money and fuel.
It’s a football story.
More specifically, it’s the story of an NFL team – the Arizona Cardinals – who just paid $230.5 million for a quarterback, Kyler Murray, in the hopes that he would would get them all the way to the Super Bowl. But Murray’s best weapon – his high-octane fuel Deandre Hopkins – is suspended for the first six games of the upcoming season. So, the Cardinals this offseason, the Cardinals opted to fill out their offense with a slightly less explosive option by signing former Baltimore Ravens catcher Marquise Brown. Brown, they believed, would at least keep the car running smoothly as Murray’s first option in Hopkins’ absence, and when the latter returned the team could put the pedal to the metal.
Trouble is, Brown, in a nod to his football player-turned-rapper Antonio Brown, took that metaphor a little too literally, getting pulled over for criminal speeding on Wednesday after being timed 200k /h on a freeway near Phoenix. . For clarity, our sister site Deadspin reports that in Arizona you need to do at least 85 to get placed in wristbands instead of just getting a ticket in Arizona and Marquise Brown ran a full 41 miles. Criminal speeding in the state comes with a maximum of 30 days in the hoosegow and a $500 fine.
The arrest of Marquise Brown could in theory let the Cardinals offense run smoothly to start the season, should the NFL decide to impose its own discipline on Brown, what you need to know now does not require a player face a criminal charge, much less a conviction. The league’s personal conduct policy allows a player to be suspended if they engage in “conduct that poses a real danger to the safety and well-being of another person.” If suspended, it would likely be for a short time given that Marquise Brown, unlike her famous cousin, hasn’t smoked with the league’s disciplinary apparatus during her career.
Antonio Brown hasn’t played an NFL game since taking his jersey off and walking off the field in the Buccaneers’ penultimate regular season game of the 2021 season on Jan. 2. Former Pittsburgh Steelers, Las Vegas Raiders, New England Patriots and Tampa Bay Buccaneers wide receiver, who was last seen doing anything on stage at the Rollin’ Loud music festival, has paid a fined $426 for driving his Porsche over 100 miles per hour in a 45 mph zone just north of Pittsburgh in 2019.
Basically, edgy road running, soft hands and lead feet should run in the family.